Lighter Than Air
by UnoriginalScreename
Summary: One-shot. Max has been given another mission. Save the…cosmetics industry? WTF!


Things I don't own:

1.Maximum Ride

2.An actual make-up bag

**Lighter Than Air**

"And believe me—I know what that feels like," TV-me said, causing the flock to burst out in laughter.

"Shut up," I mumbled into the pillow I was crushing. I was absolutely mortified. Why, you may ask? Because I, Maximum Ride, idiot that I am, agreed to embarrass myself on national television by appearing in a make-up commercial.

I know what you're thinking. How does a fourteen-year-old tomboy with _wings_ end up being a spokesmodel for Green Dream Cosmetics? It's kind of a long story. If you recall, my flock (Fang, Iggy, Nudge, the Gasman, Angel, and myself) have been charged with a mission—to save the world. And after my prize-worthy speech to congress (concerning the oh-so-major issue of global warming), as well as the establishment of the Lerner School for Gifted Children (which we visit on occasion, but don't stay at for long periods of time), we're pretty much the poster children for worthy causes right now. Companies are always begging us to endorse their products. It's both super-weird and like, super-cool at the same time (though it does make it hard for us to keep a low profile).

We'd already decided as a group that we wouldn't endorse anything that we 1) didn't agree a hundred percent on, 2) wouldn't use for ourselves, and 3) thought was harmful to the environment. Pretty reasonable, if you ask me.

When the letter from Green Dream came, Nudge was the only one who paid much attention to it. After all, she's the only one who really cares about fashion or make-up or any of that stuff. She consulted us first before calling them back, of course, but we said yes. They power their plant with methane gas from landfills, don't test their product on animals, and the packaging (cases and all) is made with recycled material—we didn't see a problem with Nudge going solo on this one. Besides, Angel (alongside Total) was already on several "Save the Animals" billboards across the globe, not to mention the fact that Fang and Iggy were spearheading the "Reduce, Reuse, Recycle" campaign.

So imagine my surprise when the Green Dream rep shows up wanting to speak to _me_ instead of Nudge.

"You're kidding, right?" I'd asked.

"She doesn't even wear make-up!" Nudge complained.

"Nudge, we appreciate your enthusiasm, but you're eleven years old," the lady had said, trying to appease Nudge. She smoothed out some of the wrinkles in her grey skirt. "Most eleven-year-olds don't wear make-up. We're looking for a spokesmodel who appeals to our target area—teenage girls."

I rolled my eyes at this. "Lady, I'm no model. Besides, Fang's more appealing to girls than I am. I'm not even _that_ girly."

The lady smiled at me. "Fang doesn't wear make-up. And you don't have to be girly. The idea is that we're selling environmentally-friendly make-up that anyone can wear. And I think you'd be absolutely perfect for the job."

I didn't really want to do it. But Nudge wanted the free make-up they were going to give me. And my mom—Dr. Martinez—thought it was a good idea, too. "Just think about how many girls will start buying more eco-friendly make-up because of you," she'd said. "Plus, a portion of all their proceeds goes to fight global warming." Yeah, I know, I'm a sucker. Just say it. So I went with my mom down to some warehouse where they were shooting the commercial. I didn't tell any of the guys where I was going. I knew they'd laugh at the idea of me wearing make-up. But Angel and Nudge knew, and they were excited for me (though Nudge was also a teeny bit jealous).

At first I'd thought they were going to make me wear some frilly dress, but they surprised me with just a white t-shirt and jeans. They even had me wear my own scuffed-up combat boots. My hair was pulled back into a simple ponytail to show off my face, which didn't look half bad. There was just enough make-up to prettify me, but not enough to really aggravate me. And believe it or not, I was actually starting to enjoy it a little. Now, the lines they gave me were pretty cheesy, but aren't all commercials?

I'll give you the play-by-play:

It starts with a close up on my face, and then fans out to show the rest of me. "When I wear make-up," I say with a small smile on my face, "I want people to see my face—not my paint job." As I'm talking, there's this montage of me standing, sitting, walking around, etc. "And with Green Dream cosmetics, they can. Not only do they provide, sheer and lightweight make-up that won't harm my skin, but Green Dream is totally eco-friendly." Now there's a close-up on the product. "Not only is their factory powered by the methane gas produced by our landfills, but all of the packaging is one hundred percent recycled material. And none of the make-up is tested on animals." Close up on my face again. Now I'm talking to the camera. "But best of all, a portion of the proceeds go to combat global warming. My make-up is saving the world—can yours do that?" Here's the best part (and the cheesiest): I start to unfurl my wings as I say my next line. "Green Dream make-up is doing their part to combat global warming while providing a product that is literally lighter than air. And believe me—I know what that feels like." And it ends with a shot of me with my back to the camera, wings spread, looking over my shoulder, with my name—Maximum Ride—at the bottom of the screen.

At the time I'd thought it was pretty cool. Now I realize it was just ridiculous. Especially after looking at everyone else's reactions to it.

"I thought you did great, Max," Mom said, patting my hair.

"Whatever," I shrugged. "It was stupid. I shouldn't have done it."

"Come on, Max, I thought you looked pretty," Angel said, done laughing.

"Yeah," Nudge agreed. "And you got all that free make-up out of it."

"Now your face can be 'lighter than air' whenever you want!" Gazzy cracked up again, and Fang and Iggy joined him.

"Oh, shut up," I mumbled again, standing up.

"Where are you going?" Fang asked in between chuckles.

"I'm taking off my face!"

I'm laying off the make-up for a while. It's too much of a hassle, anyway.

* * *

Read and Review, please. Flames are welcome!

As far as I know there is no make-up company called Green Dream, but if there is, I don't own it!

And if you're into Twilight, check out some of my other stories if you are so inclined. ;)


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